Becoming an optimist?

I finally read Becoming by Michelle Obama, and it’s probably the most real and hopeful thing I’ve read since Tuesdays with Morrie, minus the 20/20 hindsight of a whole life lived and on the brink of ending. That’s not to say that this memoir doesn’t include hindsight; indeed, it has excerpts from a young Michelle’s journal and her commentary many years later. As a person who journals herself (and dabbles in blogging), I find that one of the best reasons to keep a journal is to remind ourselves of our feelings and how, with time and perspective, they change, and then we can see how we have changed and (hopefully) evolved.

I read this book not because I’m a Barack fan (I don’t believe we should be fans of politicians, though I also appreciate the way he writes) but because I was curious about what the experience of this family was like as the first Black family to grace the White House. How well they felt received and how hard they worked to get there. And as Michelle is not herself a politician – and makes it clear that not one iota of her being plans to be one—I wanted to know about the “job” and expectations of the FLOTUS. But what one can learn from this piece spans so much more than those 8 years in Washington and a single woman's or family’s story; it’s the story of the nation, as cheesy as that sounds.

I respect people who take the ups and downs of life and rolls with it, not dwelling on anything to a crippling extent. Michelle Obama took the losses, analyzed the circumstances, and worked to make them better for people with her work for the city of Chicago, Public Allies, and Chicago Hospitals. When she saw that her father died as a result of what seemed like a fear of healthcare, her work with the hospitals helped people find providers in their own neighborhoods to get preventative care. While I am sad for her losses, such as her father and college friend taken too early, I like that our former First Lady is a real person whose tragic experiences and firsthand experiences of different socio-economic levels (from true working class to the White House, with stops along the way). I think they helped her be compassionate to all people while at the side of the president.

I’ve always thought of myself as a realist, and hope as liquid in a cup. This is just like the “cup half-full/half empty” scenario that depends on our perspective but in my perspective, the CUP had always made of Styrofoam and had a small pinhole in the bottom so that with every upset and disappointment, it gets harder to keep the cup full—every lift causing the escape of its contents. THIS, I thought, was a form of realistic optimism and hope.

Reading “Becoming” taught me something more about optimism and hope...mostly that my styrofoam cup analogy is pretty cynical. Maybe it holds some water (pun intended) when you’re thinking about childhood things like Santa or your parents reading your mind and getting/not getting you exactly what you wanted without you ever telling them… But humanity and what it is capable of, when we focus on all that has been accomplished and acknowledge even slow progress, it can be truly impressive and inspiring; all the people that drive progress, filling and refilling the cup ever so slightly.

What I take away from this book is that hope drives us as a nation, and personally, I’d like to be driven more by it. I’ll always be critical and ask questions, but I don’t want to be cynical 100% of the time or even the majority of the time, which is going to take some effort. When it comes to people, I want to see all people as individuals and will do my best not to speak in generalities, stereotypes, or with hyperbole, but instead aim to be data-driven and to listen to people and honor their lived experiences.

Yeah, I hear it, too… the idealist liberal is seeping out of this one. I’m OK with it.